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[Sunday the 9th
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So, I never use this. Hardly ever - for anything.
But, I need to get this out.
I hate school. I hate it more than anything. I miss Disney, I miss my friends there, I miss being there everyday. Working this summer made me realize how much I dont want to be part of the immature world of high school.
Tonight, my final decision was made.
One of my best friends, who I care about, and always have, called me out saying that I talk about her when she isn't around - bad things of course. Also, she said that I "think I am too rich for her, and make fun of her because of the 'class of people' she is in." When I heard this, I started crying. I was so upset, and stil am, that she would think, in a million years, no matter how I have changed, and how much we have grown apart that I would EVER say something like that about anyone, especially her. I tried defending myself, but as I thought, no use. You know, hearing these lies makes me want to leave high school tomorrow. Realizing how immature people are that they would say things likes, and also that those who are told would choose to believe these statements leaves me in utter disbelief. Overall, she chooses to not believe me, and again, I am involved in drama that I had NOTHING to do with. I'm really upset about it, and it teaches me how pathetic some people can truly be.
So, my solution:
My mom is calling guidance tomorrow. I'm finishing high school ASAP. I am going to enroll in FLVS and take as many classes as I can handle without dieing to finish by the end of this year.
I dont need high school or the people there anymore. I don't want them in my life.
They are a stress and a hassle, even though I love and care about them, they dont do the same or feel the same about me.
Hopefully by this summer, I will be a full time worker and done with school. Fingers crossed.
Can't believe any of this.
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| THOMAS MICHAEL CRAWFORD - what's in a name? REdone/finished |
[Thursday the 30th
] |
One could call me a criminal, I suppose. My crime – theft. On January 24th, sixteen or so years ago, upon coming into the world, I stole “Thomas” from my father, Thomas William. Then again, upon further thought, perhaps the allegations I accuse myself of are false or incorrect. Borrowed would be a better term for how I received “Thomas.” I merely received it as one receives a gift on Christmas day. “Thomas” was a gift. However, it is a gift not nearly as exciting as one would hope for on the 25th of December. Still, I have been informed my name is important, meaningful, and should be appreciated. Of course, the informant was my mother.
I have to share “Thomas” with another member of my household. Two Thomas’s under one roof. We share. As a matter of fact, “Thomas” is probably the only thing my father and me do share, other than a living space, which I just previously mentioned. Sharing points of view or even getting along with one another is hard to come by between the two men with one name. My father and me are direct opposites. Everything he is, I am not and likewise. This is where the gift becomes useful, like the socks from grandma you wish you hadn’t received (or at least not as a Christmas present). Our name links us as family – father and son. The gift has become somewhat of legacy of which I am unsure.
I don’t quite understand why one would choose Thomas to be a name for a legacy. Legacies seem much more important than “Thomas.” A legacy should be named more along the lines of something grand-scale. There are a number of words that describe me. Creative and imaginative hit closest to home. Coincidentally, the terms that best depict my personality and me are, in fact, direct opposites of the words one would use in describing my name. I have longed for a different or more interesting title frequently. Why did I have to share with Thomas William? Instead I often wish to share with Prince Paris from Shakespeare’s classic forbidden love story. Even to be called Sebastian or Xavier would bring some life to my name. Sometimes I wonder if I come off as a Thomas? Do I suit my name?
My father is Italian. Perhaps, Thomas is Italian for something highly sophisticated. The doubt is high. I assume I would have been informed.
Enough selfishness, however. (Maybe that is what Thomas means in Italian! – selfishness! Again, I doubt it.) After only sixteen years of life, maybe I cannot yet understand or appreciate the true meaning of my legacy, my gift – “Thomas.” There is always the chance I have not yet matured past the stage of childhood where opening a gift filled with Christmas candy and cheap toys excites me greatly. “Thomas” isn’t yet a good gift to give someone my age. Though “Thomas” means very little to me at the time being, to my parents, especially my father, it is something much greater, something much more. Someday soon, I hope to fully understand it’s meaning. Until then, do I have to write a thank you for it? I mean, I didn’t even want it!
i really liked that assignment!
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| my name, Thomas Michael Crawford |
[Wednesday the 29th
] |
One could call me a criminal, I suppose. My crime - theft. On January 24th, sixteen or so years ago, upon coming into the world, I stole "Thomas" from my father. Then again, upon further thought, perhaps the alligations I accuse myself of are incorrect or false. Borrowed would be a better term for how I received "Thomas." I merely received it as one receives a gift on Christmas day. "Thomas" was a gift. However, it is a gift not nearly as exciting as one would hope for on the 25th of December. Still, I have been informed that my name is important, meaningful, and should be appreciated. Of course, the informant was my mother.
I have to share "Thomas" with another member of my household. Two Thomas' under one roof. We share. As a matter of fact, "Thomas" is probably the only thing me and my father do share, other than a living space of course, which I just previously mentioned. Sharing points of view, or better yet, even getting along with one another is hard to come by between the two men with one name. Me and my father are direct opposites. Everything he is, I am not and likewise. This is where the gift becomes useful, you see. Like the socks you received from grandma you wish you hadn't received. Our name links us as family - father and son. The gift has become a legacy which I am unsure of.
NOT DONEEEEEEE!
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[Saturday the 12th
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Okay, so; all I have to say is WELCOME BACK LIFE! I MISSED YOU!
everything has been better. life is amazing.
the last few days have been the most fun i have had in months.
thursday night; me, alex, steph, katie wynn went to see dana in chorus!
then friday hung out with kessler all day: lunch, dinner. we ate all day. haha. Steph and Alex and Mandy came over later on that night.
We watched Closer, then got hungry and went to Burger King.
Me and Alex came back to my house and hung out, other two went home. =)
Today, hung out with Kelly all day. Milenia, Starbucks, Lots of food again.
Me, her, Alissa, and Katie (new favorite person ever) all got dressed up and went out to Carabbas for dinner. Wish Alex could have came.
Tomorrow if mother's day. I need to wake up early and go get my mom's gift. But .... I am also get to hang out with Alex and hopefully lunch w/ everyone.
Anyway, life is good. Really good, and I am really happy. =DDDD
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[Tuesday the 1st
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I would post more, however, I feel livejournal is useful for venting. And, lately, I have nothing to vent about. Life is perfect.
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[Saturday the 14th
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Chicago for Spring Break, while it was extremly too cold, was a lot of fun.
It's always good to go back there and see everyone and everything.
Probably gained about 23098 pounds while I was there eating all the good Chicago food, but whatever. Who do I have to impress?
Holy shit, I saw Wicked Wednesday with amazing seats and the show was amazing.
Amazing leads, just like Idina and Kristen actually. I loved it.
Now I'm home. Everything is good.
Spring break rules, other than the fact that I know that I have to do my huge already due history project in the next 2 days for school Monday. FUCK.
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[Monday the 19th
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really good weekend.
stayed home todayy sick w/ the new dog! adorable.
LOL@life being so good.
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[Monday the 12th
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I really have never messed so bad in my life, and right now, I am doing and will do whatever I have to do to fix it.
i love you i love you i love you !
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| ,kajdkls;ad |
[Wednesday the 7th
] |
It's crazy to have SO much going on, and not be able to tell anyone. Well, that is what the best friends are for! love you guysssss! <33
anyway, life is pretty freakin' good.
yesterday went out to dinner with james and his friends for his birthday. 22!
it was so much fun, had a blast.
tomorrow night, pirates and princesses with kaitlyn!
friday pig on the pond!?
and saturday, james party. time to sneak out again. jeez i hope i dont get caught!
a;lskdjals;dkjal;aksjdal;kdj
as;lkdjasdl;kjasdl;kasjdl;askdj
;lakjsdal;ksdjals;kd
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[Monday the 26th
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i'm so fucking indecisive!
im good! im good! i good!
i promise!
=Dalsjkd!
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